Dealing with Un-supportive Family …+What to Do
Whether it’s be because of your own views, your sexuality, or your aspirations, sometimes, family isn’t supportive. And that’s okay.
Coming from experience dealing with un-supportive family, I can say that it’s one of the worst feelings in the world and it can get harder if you’re in a situation where you can’t even leave or be yourself. I know for a fact that this is frustrating and, at times, saddening.
In my case, I’ve had the “family” members that I lived with, disregard and make fun of my dreams. This can be disheartening and for a while, I even tried to prove that this was something that I could make an honest living out of, and mostly, that it was something that I was passionate about.
If you can’t tell by now, I love writing. It’s my passion and I’ve been doing it since I was a pre-teen. Even when I was child, I used to love listening to my mother tell me stories or voice hilarious characters. During school, I excelled in English and began writing short stories and fan fiction. It was mostly something to pass the time as a hobby, but when the question came around to; What I wanted to be in Life? I was so adamant about doing something in Biology or Agriculture.
However, that quickly changed when I was 15 or 16. I wanted to write. But where I’m from, I thought that I couldn’t possibly make a living off of being a writer. As I researched, I quickly found out that using Social Media and growing your brand/business smartly, can make any young dreamer’s, dream, a reality. This was such great news for someone like me. It wasn’t the same, for the people I used to consider family. I’ll try to give you a brief summary… I remember the first time I spoke about what I was doing, spending most of my free time online. It was a close relative, at the time, that asked what I was doing. So I had answered honestly and showed her my writing. I remember her reading the summary to the book I was writing at the time and like it. Then, that seemed to change. Not even a week later, that relative began to make fun of my writing and would say that, ‘she was using it as an excuse to think she was better than them’, or that ‘She was stealing someone’s book,’. I was crushed. I thought this was something to be proud of, that I had finally found something they could like as well, as myself. But that didn’t seem to be the case. Instead, they all began to pick on my dreams, if I ever mentioned it to other family members. And for a brief moment. I thought writing was stupid too. I thought, that, because of what they had said, that I’d never become anything nor were my books ‘original’, even though those books were my babies and I spent hours, days, writing them on paper, then transferring them to wattpad. I didn’t want to write anymore and felt like I was wasting my time on something stupid. I can’t remember what brought me out of that pit, but I have a feeling, that it was my mother. Because, I remember her saying specifically, not to tell them anything about my plans, because, people like them, want to see you do good, but never be great. And I will always remember that. It’s a lesson that I had to learn, as well as many others, in that household.
What to Do?
So, you’re going to tell them? Or, you’ve already told them about your plan, your sexuality, your dreams, whatever it may be. It didn’t go so well, they have questions, they ignore you, they ridicule you. Please, remember what my mother told me~ "People like them, never want to see you do better than them".
If this is you, if this make you happy, if this is good for you, your future, your career. Then, please, do it. If you have to start like myself, on a broken up laptop, limited time and a cheap phone, then that’s okay. I’m glad I started. If I hadn’t, I’m sure you wouldn’t have someone to relate to, or at the least, that person is scared to talk about their experiences. This is your life and you have to make the choice to live for them or for yourself. You’re going to have to make decisions, and choose what will make you’re future, happy. If it leads to cutting away a few people, people that’s supposed to be family, then do it. Find a new family, my make shift family is the best, not gonna lie. But if, you’re blessed and they accept your dreams, hug them.
Creativity and open-mindedness are unique. If you are lucky enough to have that gift, fight for it and don't stop until you are sure you have won. This is where the simple good up-bringing is misunderstood. Even the people that were supposed to support and love, fueled by ignorance, driving forth disappointment and hate.
Fortunately for me, I have few who I do consider blood. They have earned the title 'Family' and I will treasure them.
Sadly, the next generation has to bear the same dimness. I say dim because they are unfortunate enough to be raised to never discover their own light and are instead led into the shadows. Some people just aren't made for a 9 to 5 job, some people want to actually get out of that box and try the extreme. I urge you to try what you love, even if it goes beyond the norm.
Encourage.
Writing is the only way I know how.
Writing is my escape.
Find yours.
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